How to Make a Smoothie

Mixing things together is good, especially if those things get destroyed in the process. Consider, for example, bread. It's the trademark of civilization. The traditional recipe for bread goes like this: find some wheat and destroy it; find some oil-producing seeds and destroy them; find some salt deposits and destroy them; add some water to the wreckage and mix it around; kill the whole mess with fire for like an hour. Voila. Bread. Not long after mankind learned to use a blender, this process was applied experimentally to other foods. And probably sometime during the Renaissance, the smoothie was invented. Smoothies have a lot of advantages over bread. For one thing, they're easier. And that's the only advantage I can think of, so let's begin.